The Storm After The Calm

With 2015 upon me, one resolution I’ve decided upon (no, it’s not a weight loss resolution!) is to consistently write for my blog. With that, I was blessed with my first topic for the new year – Seasons.

I’ve been going through one of the longest most grueling seasons of my life. It all started with a decision, made mutually with God, to move towards change, healing, and forgiving. This season of mine has felt like a long, winding, dense wilderness full of images of past regrets, hurt, loneliness, anger, and frustration. Don’t get me wrong – God shows me glimpses of the meadow beyond the wilderness – so my hope lives on.

Recently – I’ve been struggling most with slowing down. I’m always trying to get to point B as quickly as possible, without stopping to look around on the journey and appreciate the small steps to get where I’m going. You know, taking in each season for the season it is. This is my great journey towards freedom from my old self.

The seasons I’m speaking about could be viewed as our normal winter, summer, spring and fall, but in a deeper sense, I’m talking about the seasons God has us go through to build character, strength, discipline, and most importantly… faith.

Summer: cruisin’. Everything is warm, happy, and familiar. Without a care in the world, I’m in lock-step with God and nothing can get in my way.

Spring: revival. Even better than summer, because the spring rain brings renewal and growth – not just how trees grow, slow and steady, but the visible growth, like when my garden vegetables have taken root and are all speedily producing their fruit. My cup runneth over.

Fall: the storm after the calm. Here times seems to move slowly, and each step my muscles ache, and my heart feigns. The bright colors from spring melt into neutrals that all seem to look the same, and eventually disappear. It’s about to get frigid up in here.

Winter: the wilderness. The never-ending scape of white, where I walk and walk, and never know where I’ve been because the immense amount of snow continues to cover up my footsteps, no matter how fast I try to run. I’m alone, lost, cold, and wondering. And just as the sun begins to rise, and warms that desert of snow, I surrender, my heart melts, and gets that much closer to God. Bittersweet really.

 

At this point, I’m towards the end of Winter – I believe. Who knows, God’s timing, not mine. I feel my heart melting, and my stubborn strength waning from the effort it’s put forth in trying to win on itself alone. This is where the character builds, and the faith increases. No, I’m not quite there yet, my heart still takes comfort in my old self, but it’s trying.

Which season are you in? Are you in between seasons? Can you see the sun rising? Or are you soaking up the rays as we speak? Wherever you are – take comfort in knowing that God’s got you. And if you’re a help seeker like I am – I stumbled across this great blog post by Rachel Wojo – 12 Bible Verses for when things are changing.

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