This Depression is Kicking my Butt

1892332bb249dedc6f5319bf1cdd831bDue to med changes and brain chemistry alignments, my depression has reared it’s ugly head yet again.

This is the kind of depression that I had when I was first diagnosed, and just getting on medication. So, it’s ugly and angry. And all I can do is keep fighting. It’s a silent battle. One I don’t like to talk about because it makes me feel weak. It’s a battle that is raging in my head while on the outside I seem… fine.

Well, yeah, I’m ok… but this really sucks. So, instead of keeping my battle secrets to myself, I want to share them so maybe others don’t feel quite so alone.

Take a shower. I know you hardly feel like getting out of bed, much less taking care of yourself. But, a shower does wonders and helps you take a step forward.

Get out. I know you feel like staying in, where it is safe, but it is so important to not isolate. You don’t have to go to a birthday party or out drinking at the bars, I’m talking about getting in the car and driving down the road. Go someplace close, your church, the mailbox, or even the grocery store (you don’t even have to go in!). Just get out.

Know…Believe it will pass. Because it will. I know it hurts in a way that can’t be explained, but it will pass. Just make it to the next moment you can breathe. It might be the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but, if you can make it, you’re even stronger for the next fight.

Do some laundry. It’s cathartic and symbolic of cleaning out the yuck. It’s also the completion of something. Cleaning out the yuck and completing things are essential to moving forward and out from under that dark cloud.

Serve others. I know your world is like a vacuum right now, and it seems like nothing else can exist, but the easiest way to get out of your own head is to do something for someone else. Don’t even think about it, just do it. Ask if you can help with something. I wouldn’t suggest signing up for a marathon or becoming a secret ninja sidekick, but be a buddy for a nice walk, pray for someone, or compliment someone.

These are all things I’ve utilized in the last week. Do you have any go-to helpful hints to walk through depression with your head up? I’d love to hear them.

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Meet Me @ My Mat

I love yoga. I also love Jesus. 

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Nothing against the beliefs that many yogis cultivate at all, I just don’t roll that way. I’ll be honest, I tried, and it felt right for a while, but then the Holy Spirit began asking me to become focused on Him during my time on the mat.

So I struggled to find a balance between my religious beliefs and the yoga that I love so much. I finally found my niche. When I get on the mat, I don’t praise myself for getting on the mat, I praise God for meeting me on my mat.

I use the time on my mat as a prayer session. I use it to invite the Holy Spirit to meet me where I am and thank Him for the time together. Yeah, I know He’s always with me, but my mat time is a special time where we get to be face to face. If you’re looking for a good place to start, check out Caroline Williams Yoga YouTube Channel.

I’m gonna be real with you, none of this is right, or wrong, it just works for me!

What works for you?!
I’d love to hear how you deal with feelings getting in the way of things you love?

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How I Make 8 Hour Days Work with My Mania

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Mania and eight hour days don’t mix. Then again, neither does introversion and going out to lunch with friends. So, I’m stuck!

That’s what I used to say. Since switching meds, and having to relearn how to manage my time at work, I’ve come across several things that have helped me get through.
Continue reading “How I Make 8 Hour Days Work with My Mania”

Yoga Review: Emotional Release Flow by O’M Yoga

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I needed something this evening. Little did I know it was this yoga practice.

Let’s get to it.

5 Things that Rocked:

Makes you sweat. Some yoga practices are for days when you’re looking for something softer and less aggressive. When I’m looking to sweat, I go for an O’M Yoga practice – never lets me down.
Continue reading “Yoga Review: Emotional Release Flow by O’M Yoga”

Bananas, Gatorade, and Water

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If you’re here just for the freebies (no judgement if you are!) download them here:

3 Awesome Quote Phone Wallpapers to keep moving forward
One | Two | Three

I’m running a marathon. Twenty-six point two miles, 5.5 hours, just me and my thoughts. I put mile after mile behind me, and once I finish I realize, one of the most important keys to my finishing was the food and water stops. Sometimes it’s water, cold and refreshing. Other times, it’s Gu, a banana, or Gatorade. Regardless what was offered, in this race with just finishing as my goal, it was a place to rest, pause, accept where I was, and keep moving forward.

Today, I realized my life is a lot like that marathon. A struggle at times, numbness, joy, hope, at other times, the seasons of pause (much like the refueling stations), becoming ever more important to the forward movement of my life.

These pauses offer a time of reflection on what came before, and idea of where I’m going, and ultimately an opportunity for acceptance of where I am. These pauses are essential to forward movement, providing rest and refueling. At each pause becoming stronger, experiencing growth, and building my character.

I often ask myself ‘What’s the point of growing? Becoming older, wiser? Why be bold, why make mistakes and learn from them? What’s the point?’

The point is free will.

I am running (walking, sometimes crawling) this race any way. I choose to learn, I choose to grow, I choose to become better, and love more. I choose to make a choice.


What season of life are you in? How do you get strength to keep moving forward? I’d love to see your thoughts in the comments below. Use #bananas if you’re running your marathon every day.

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